The stuff that really matters ♥ Art ♥ Fabric ♥ Yarn ♥ Coffee ♥

1.30.2010

Hookinosis by Ima Nutt, M.D.

As a doctor, I feel it is my duty to keep the public informed on items which may be hazardous to their health, and recently I have noticed a sharp increase in the growth of a disease called hookinosis, or, as it is more commonly known, crocheting.

This disease affects women of all ages, races and religions. The most distressing part of having one of your loved ones catch hookinosis is that there is not known cure. Recently a group of men have formed the S.P.C.W. (Society for the Prevention of Crocheting by Women) and have started a fund drive in hopes that, with more research, a cure may be found within the next few years. If you wish to make a donation, you should contact the local chapter of S.P.C.W. in your area. All donations are welcome.

Hookinosis has just recently come to the attention of the medical profession, since it has always been considered a hobby, but after some extensive testing it has been found that women who crochet go through actual withdrawal symptoms when their yarn supply had been cut off. Some of these symptoms are:
  1. Irritability
  2. Nervousness
  3. Extreme craving for yarn and crochet books
  4. Inability to concentrate

Since we are listing some of the withdrawal symptoms, we may as well make a list of symptoms to watch for if you feel your loved one may be catching hookinosis:

  1. Yarn and crochet hooks lying all over
  2. Sleeps with yarn under her pillow
  3. Crochets matching booties for your cat and dog
  4. Gets extremely agitated if her yarn supply runs low

If you feel your loved one fits into any of the symptoms listed above, try to get her to join Crocheters Anonymous. even though there is no cure as of yet, the organization may be able to help your family cope better with this affliction.

Those of you who have not yet been stricken with this malady, please keep your families safe. Crocheting is very contagious and the best way to prevent its ravages is to keep your females completely away from yarn and crochet hooks or anyone who already has hookinosis. Good luck and God bless.

No comments: